I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
