She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
