He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
