Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
