guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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