Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
