Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I'm really busy with my period
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