he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
