He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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