spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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