I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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