You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
