i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
