I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
whose parrot is this?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
