Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
you would pick up someone in the library
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
