Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
