Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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