Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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