so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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