just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I need moral support for this bender
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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