Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
