he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
