You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
