Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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