hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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