I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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