I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I got inside last night via doggy door
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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