maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
This house was built for laser tag.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Randomize
