it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
