Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
