If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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