not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
And then my night got REAL pukey
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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