Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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