yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He? As in you personified your dick?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
