For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
In America we eat man semen.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
