i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
