You did not just play the dead husband card again.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
