Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
