You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We are two peas in an std pod
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
