I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I am midnight drunk by noon
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
