Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
