they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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