I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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