my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
