They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
