Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
