Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
