yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
