I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The police scanner is talking about you again....
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
