I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
