That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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