Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
