So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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