Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
