let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
