I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
