Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
