i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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