DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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