Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
