You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
