Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
handjob tips. give me some.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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