I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Pooping to opera.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
